Granted

Taking things for granted is a very overly common thing. now I'm not saying "oh look what you have that Africans don't" that's not it. 

What i'm saying is people take friendships for granted. way too much. here's a story that happened to me a few weeks ago.

my best friend lives 6 hours away, and she came back home for a weekend visit on spring break. i was super excited, and i had to do a bunch of chores just to go. that night, she decided to facetime her boyfriend and his friend. so we invited our other friend to come over also, And we had a blast. but then, her boyfriend only wanted to talk to her, so she made us go to bed. i was really angry that she'd choose him over us when she can see him whenever she wanted to.

and i guess i was okay with it, like yeah being apart can suck, i'll just let them talk. but we got into a small argument, and she got mad because me and our other friend wanted to go to church together in the morning, So she felt left out. but then again, she hadn't even wanted to go. and she was leaving us out of the conversation. So then i decided not to go, and our other friend would just go.

the next morning, she kept taking snapchat videos of me, doing embarrassing things without me really knowing. I got a little upset inside because she was making me look bad to her friends back at home, i mean i realize now that i couldn't give less of a shit about it, but a few weeks ago it made me cringe. her friends would make fun of my laugh which i am very insecure of, but i pretended i didn't care. truth is, i did.

anyway. that same night, she had facetimed her boyfriend again. and it was about 2 am and i was breaking down. i sobbed, and pinched myself, and hurt myself, and the worst part was that she was only two feet away from me. still she ignored me, now i'm not sure if she knew or didn't know, but she continued to facetime and laugh with him.

it just made me sob even more, the feeling of being unwanted, and betrayed, and useless, and annoying, and hurt, all at the same time was horrible, it was like i wasn't even breathing in her eyes.

the next day, she continued to facetime him and ignore me. they only had been together four days and she told him, "i love you more than her." even though she was slightly joking, it fucking hurt. because she could love someone she met four days ago, more than someone she met 8 years ago.


it was like, i was the front wheel of a tricycle and they were the back. i was the reason they even had to face time and they were in the back of the bike, talking to eachother.

i couldn't get her attention for more than 2 minutes. 

i remember whispering to myself in her bathroom, "i want to die." 


the point of this, is that You shouldn't ever ignore someone once you find somebody else, You could be crushing their entire world in that second, making them feel like they're in some sort of freak show, or that they're not wanted by the one person they truly loved and would stick by them no matter what happened. 

Don't let a relationship tear another form of relationship down just because its new.


bethy x